The Joe Zone is as surprised as you are by this new edition of Joe-Pourri. Despite intense efforts of containment, Joe-Pourri the Eighth has slipped its bonds, as apparently Joe has slipped the feathery bonds of lucidity.
- NASA scientists and other meteorological whiz-bangs are predicting a “Godzilla El Nino” for the fall and winter seasons. Current water temperatures in the Pacific show the potential for this year’s El Nino to be stronger than that of 1997, which was the previous strongest on record, and generally considered to be equivalent to Mothra. “And everyone knows Godzilla can kick Mothra’s butt,” a NASA expert said (although it’s possible he was just a monster movie geek). El Nino can heavily influence weather worldwide, including bringing severe storms to parts of the country, and heavy rain to the West. Drought-weary Californians may be wishing this El Nino is Godzilla, Mothra, and King Kong rolled into one.
- Recent polls have shown that a narrow majority of Americans think there should be a criminal investigation over Hillary Clinton’s use of personal email while Secretary of State. For example, a University of Kumquat poll showed 153% of Republicans think there should be an investigation, while –136% of Democrats think there should be one. Another recent poll, conducted in my head, shows that many Americans are incapable of independent thought.
- Perhaps the most telling political poll of all revealed that a majority of Americans think there should be a criminal investigation into Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton being the leading presidential candidates.
And so as Joe-Pourri skulks back into the murky shadows, America hunkers down for a long, grueling, mind-numbing, interminable presidential campaign season. The only apparent cause for hope is the possibility of being bludgeoned by El Nino, which will seem like blessed relief by comparison.