We’ve caught just enough time between naps to allow the Joe Zone’s newest and most unacquired taste, Joe-Pourri, to once again rise out of the mosquito-infested marsh and take to the runway for another attempt at takeoff. If you’re among the readers/hackers/spammers who have been with us for all five Joe-Pourri sojourns, then that might actually make some sense. So close your eyes and hold your breath and your stomach, here we go with the all new weekend edition:
- The New Horizons space probe whizzed past Pluto this week at over 30,000 miles per hour, frenetically snapping pictures. Tourists everywhere can relate to that. Pluto evidently has a heart-shaped formation on its surface. Here at the JZ, we suspect the Plutonians made it just for us, to show that there are no hard feelings over its dwarf status. Perhaps in reciprocation, New Horizon mission specialists have thrown Pluto a bone, now referring to it as “The King of the Kuiper Belt.” New Ho, as we like to call it, then headed to its next destination, the Outer Limits of the huge rock and dust-filled area beyond the traditional “solar system” known as the Kuiper Belt.
- Economic turmoil continues in Greece, as leaders struggle to deal with debt of Olympic proportions. Lawmakers voted to accept stringent austerity measures in exchange for a bailout from European nations. Really, one would think the popularity of Greek yogurt alone would be sufficient to provide ample income.
- Scientists are predicting that the sun’s output will be reduced by up to 60% within 15 to 20 years, leading to significantly lower temperatures on planet Earth. The JZ has long held that global warming may be the only thing to save us from the coming ice age. However, given the conflicting forces at work, it’s tough to know whether to invest in furnaces or air conditioners.
- In the meteorological realm, the whether men are predicting a variable chance of flooding downpours or clearing skies by the end of the weekend or later. Here’s your Joe-to-Go, from the JZ Take-Out Window: On the bright side, the sun is not expected to go nova this week.