Black Friday and the Christmas shopping season in general serve to underscore one of the most fundamental laws of the universe: husbands don’t enjoy shopping with their wives. Or with anyone else, or by themselves, or under any circumstances. Shopping, however, is a fact of life. Like death and taxes, it’s unavoidable, but less fun. […]
Thanksgiving, as a national holiday, was created for the purpose of (hold on) giving thanks. Black Friday was created by the media for the purpose of whipping Christmas shoppers into a frenzy. Then people will watch the media more, so they can see the crazed shoppers desecrating the Christmas spirit (after they get home from […]
Breaking News! The Joe Zone Bureau of Science (JZ-BS), committed to keeping you informed about the latest in scientific breakthroughs, break-ins, and break dances, presents my most disturbing web toot to date. In a scenario eerily similar to a scene from Star Wars, a high intensity laser beam was recently fired across Earth’s bow. Well, […]
My friends and family usually describe me as being mellow, even-tempered, slow to anger – you know, kind of boring. I suppose I am. I have my limits, though. And while many people never see me in an agitated state, I do have my pet peeves. They’re buried beneath the surface, like landmines. I think […]
Welcome to yet another report from the Joe Zone Bureau of Science (BS), where we spare none of your expense to bring you up-to-date on all the coolest science jazz going on. At the JZ BS, accuracy is king, as embodied in our motto: A half-truth is twice as good as a quarter-truth.
While watching one of the TV doctor shows recently, I witnessed a phenomenon that flabbergasted me. (Frequent haunters of my web toots will attest that I am easily flabbergasted, though. My gast gets flabbered at least twice a week. I may indeed rightly claim the crown of the King of Flabber.) Grown men and women, […]
Have you noticed how the weather doesn’t know how to be normal any more? It’s always record heat, or extreme drought, or flooding rains, or monster twisters (no relation to Chubby Checker. Okay, a show of hands – how many actually know who Chubby Checker is? Or that his name is a take-off on Fats […]
In a previous web toot, I talked about using the Joe-ma-Tron. (See “Fouled Out,” October 10, 2012.) The Joe-Ma-Tron allows me to go wherever and whenever I want, and see anything, whether it actually happened or not. I described it as “the patented, exclusive Joe-ma-Tron. The Joe-ma-Tron is a combination time machine, teleporter, dream extractor, […]